I was waiting for the funicular when I heard a commotion on the escalator behind me. There was a column blocking my view, but suddenly a guy in his mid-60s wearing shorts and a t-shirt burst into view and shouted, “The Turks! They stole my wallet!”
He. Was. Livid.
The way he charged onto the platform, paused for a second, and then declared the guilt of an entire nation was both frightening and amusing — a combination of fury and ludicrousness. He was equal parts a more enraged Charlton Heston exposing Soylent Green, and the lady in “Klondike Kat” crying, “Savoir Faire has stolen my bon bons!”
I got on the cable car at a different spot, but I could hear him shouting from the other end:
“I lived in New York for five years and never had this happen! I lost my driver’s license, everything…it’ll take me a year to get all that stuff back!”
Team America
By this point my pity was building for the guy. He’s in a strange place, obviously distressed, and perhaps not able to communicate with anyone. Plus, back in high school I lost my wallet twice, so I knew the feeling.*
After we got off the cable car I approached him and said, “Hey, I’m an American, can I help?”
He turned around to look, but his eyes didn’t focus on me and his jaw was trembling.
“The Turkish people stole my wallet!”
He made sure everyone could hear him, and with that, I wrote him off. Huffing and puffing in his own little world, he tramped away toward the exit.
*I lost the same wallet twice — once at Six Flags in Illinois, once at Cedar Point in Ohio. Both times it was found and returned to me by mail, the first time with a check for the money that had been inside! I can’t speak for carnies, but amusement park employees are an upstanding lot.
0 comments ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.
Leave a Comment